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    Every mother’s worst nightmare.

    Sorry folks this post has been published a little later that expected, but as it turns out, that’s quite fitting. Well, it’s almost the end of January, and Christmas is well and truly over. The tree is down, the tin of Quality Street is empty and Christ you’ve even been to the gym. But there’s one thing that still hasn’t been done. This thing eats at you, it keeps you awake at night. You can’t even look at your children without thinking about it, and it’s no good going to the pub because it follows you there too! Yes, almost…

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    Exhibit A

    Peckham Massive 1 Council Flat South East London SE15 6PZ Dear London Borough of Filth How are you? Before I begin this letter I feel I need to share with you some important information about myself. I…

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    Parenting Blues by W.H Vardy!

    Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking on a juicy bone, Silence the dishwasher and with muffled drum In walks my child, and the moaning comes Let aero planes high above…

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    I’m Dreaming of a Shite Chritmas

    The Mother must have been about 19 when you had celebrated her what was to be her last at home, Oh but what a memorable Christmas it was. If she could remember rightly she had spent the…

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    Leyton – Part 3

    The children were gripped following the twists and turns of the debate between her and Leyton. Abdul piped up “Yeah, I’ve seen a dinosaur too Miss.”  While Ava shouted out excitingly “Miss, Miss, are you going to…

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    Leyton – part 2

    To be fair, it wasn’t the whole class or even half the class. In fact, in reality, it was just one boy, one boy who went by the name of Leyton Baxter. If there ever was a…

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    Leyton

    But first, a short introduction to temping. When a teaching agency calls with work, they usually tell you the bare minimum about a position.  Just like with the CIA, information is shared on a need-to-know basis, but…

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    Alfred – The End

    George and Gladys – I miss you so much. Brighton has just not been the same since you relocated. Shanie (The Border Collie) I hope you are having fun with Kimble in dog heaven xxxx Her grandfather…

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    Alfred Part 2

    “Migrants take all new jobs in Britain reads the Rants headline followed by a story about how impossible it is to get a job in the UK if you are British. As well as this story there…

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    Alfred

    Chug chug chug the Mother’s train pulls into Brighton Station, The sun is shining, and the children are back at school. It’s a perfect day to hit the beach. But, the Mother is not going anywhere near…

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    Lady Business Part 2

    There was a pause, a moment of uncertainty, a chance to save himself, but then a defiant, “Yeah, Mum, I do.” Taking a deep breath, the Mother replied,  “Do you want the short explanation or the long…