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    Another Planet

    It wasn’t the first time the mother had parted with a large amount of cash, just to get a bit of rest bite from her kids. No, it was about the 63rd time. But that’s how it was sometimes.  Somedays you just don’t feel like you can step up to the plate and be a top-notch parent.  This was one of those days.   The day had started early, although the mother hadn’t. It was almost ten o’clock when she finally dragged herself out of bed and even then, her eyes were barely open. She was all for seizing the day,…

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    A Very British Guide to Borrowing.

    Can I borrow your phone? You’ll get it back.  Can I just borrow your husband for a second?  You’ll get him back.  Can I borrow a pen?  You might get it back.  Can I borrow your lighter?  You’ll…

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    Cat Food part 2

    The second she arrived home, and put her key in the lock she remembered the message.  As she walked through the door empty-handed, the cat looked at her with utter contempt. Call yourself an animal lover! She…

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    Cat food

    Before I begin this story, I first need to tell you something about a charming little place I know called Plumstead. The reason for this will soon become apparent. So briefly, Plumstead is on the very outskirts…

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    New Year, New You

    The mother first spotted the advert in the South London Press. It was after the section on stabbings and shootings but before the sport.

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    Bedtime

    It is 8.05 pm, and the mother is attempting to get her daughter to bed. Bedtime can be a bit of a challenge for some parents and their unruly offspring. But remember, this is the mother’s second…

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    Every mother’s worst nightmare.

    Hi folks, sorry there has been such a long gap since my last post.  This blog post is now well overdue, however when you read this story, you’ll realise its lateness is actually quite fitting.   Well, it’s almost the end of January, and Christmas is well and truly…

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    Exhibit A

    Peckham Massive 1 Council Flat South East London SE15 6PZ Dear London Borough of Filth How are you? Before I begin this letter I feel I need to share with you some important information about myself. I…

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    Parenting Blues by W.H Vardy!

    Stop all the clocks,   Put down your mobile phone Prevent the dog from barking on a juicy bone,  Silence the dishwasher   and with muffled drum  In walks my child,   And the moaning comes   Let aero planes high above us, flee abroad …

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    I’m Dreaming of a Shite Chritmas

    The Mother must have been about 19 when you had celebrated her what was to be her last at home, Oh but what a memorable Christmas it was. If she could remember rightly she had spent the…