
Parenting Blues by W.H Vardy!
Stop all the clocks,
Put down your mobile phone
Prevent the dog from barking on a juicy bone,
Silence the dishwasher
and with muffled drum
In walks my child,
And the moaning comes
Let aero planes high above us, flee abroad
And in the sky scribble the message, ‘My child is bored.”
She has the moon on a Fxxking stick and twelve pet doves,
Magnetic slime and magnetic gloves!
She has toys, and games, and books and even Chess!
But my child is still bored, so why should I get to rest,
From noon until midnight, she laments the same song;
I thought Connect Four would last forever: I was wrong.
The minions are not wanted now; put them away every one,
Pack up the twister and dismantle the marble run.
Pour away the slime, and the perfume kit I bought her
For nothing now can ever amuse my daughter.
Image courtesy of Saydung89 – Pixabay

I'm Dreaming of a Shite Chritmas

Exhibit A
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