A Very British Guide to Borrowing.

Can I borrow your phone? You’ll get it back. 

Can I just borrow your husband for a second?  You’ll get him back. 

Can I borrow a pen?  You might get it back. 

Can I borrow your lighter?  You’ll never get it back.

 Can I borrow your phone charger?  You’ll get a charger back. 

Can I borrow a fiver? Anything under a tenner is a gift, you can’t ask for it back. 

Can I borrow a tenner?  You’ll get it back, one day. 

Can I borrow 20 quid?  If you don’t get it back it will drive a wedge between you and you will never speak to each other again

Can I borrow a sanitary towel?  You won’t want it back. 

Can I borrow your hooded top?  Ha – you’ve as good as given it away, you’ll never see it again, 

Can I borrow some of your weed? You can’t lend weed.  You can sell it, share it or give it away, there’s no in-between. 

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