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On the Eighth Day of Christmas

AKA The reality of Christmas

By Destiny Re-styled


Uh (uh)
You know Christmas?
Was made for the children
And don’t we bloody know it!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
A pair of Primark gloves and a half bottle of gin
On the seventh day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
Some Vicks vapour and some Savlon for my feet

On the sixth day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
A snog before bed, and a minor STD
On the fifth day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
A poem that he sort of wrote for me

Feelin’ that I feel is bluhh
He makes me feel so ol – ol old
If he only knew what he does to me
My old man would probably hit the road
Oh, he makes me the occasional cup of tea
He say I should count myself lu-ck-y
But I love him for his practicality
My man, my man, my baby

That’s it, Really?

Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?
(yes and winter is so bleak))
Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?
(Yep it’s dark all the fucking time)
Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?
(Sure does, all my wages are gone)

Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?
(Yep, but without all the parties)
Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?
(Yep, I’ve put on half a stone)

Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?
(Doesn’t it just, there’s sod all on TV)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
A fag and a pint and lunch at Macedees
On the third day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
A long weekend with his boring family

On the second day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
The keys to a CLK Mercedes, yeah, right, if only
On the first day of Christmas, my baby gave to me
Quality St r ee t

Image courtesy of alisaapps Pixabat

Da da da da da…

If you liked The Eighth day of Christmas in Poems and Parodies you’ll love

https://medium.com/frazzled/if-parents-wrote-pop-songs-3e00ce9e9777

And if you love The Sarcastic Mother check out

https://www.the-sarcastic-mother.co.uk/2020/12/17/996/t,

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