The Sarcastic Mother

Shouting to be heard, swearing to be clever

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  • Blog

    An overworked teacher’s guide to paediatric first aid.

    By Suzi / January 8, 2022

    By St Josephine’s Ambulance Miss, My leg hurts  Give it a rub and I’ll get an ice pack Sir, My arm hurts Give it a rub and I’ll get an ice pack My back hurts  Do you…

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  • Blog

    On the Eighth Day of Christmas

    By Suzi / December 22, 2021

    A parody of Beyonce's classic eight th day of Christmas

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    July 25, 2020
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    June 19, 2020
  • Blog

    Debt

    By Suzi / November 28, 2021

    And how to ignore it It is Monday morning and the post has just arrived, bringing with it four ominous looking letters.  Something about them said bills, actually everything about them said bills, bills, bills. Debt and…

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  • Blog

    “I’m not homophobic but….”

    By Suzi / October 17, 2021

    The trouble with being a supply teacher is that you are always the newbie. Each time you get another assignment, you have to start at the beginning again. Now I have to be honest with you, starting…

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  • Blog

    If Parents Wrote Pop Songs

    By Suzi / September 17, 2021

    “Last Christmas I gave you my heart,” This year you’re getting pants and socks. To read the rest of If Parents Wrote Pop songs go to Frazzled on Medium. https://medium.com/frazzled/if-parents-wrote-pop-songs-3e00ce9e9777\ And there’s more If you’re local go…

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  • Blog

    I’ve discovered the secret to a harmonious family breakfast, and you can too!

    By Suzi / September 17, 2021

    Check this story out at The Haven on Medium, you’ll be glad you did! https://medium.com/the-haven/ive-discovered-the-secret-to-a-harmonious-family-breakfast-and-you-can-too-99618b1e6ce

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  • Blog

    Planet Pub

    By Suzi / August 5, 2021

    It wasn’t the first time the mother had parted with a large amount of cash, just to get a bit of rest bite from the kids. No, it was about the 63rd time. But that’s how it…

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  • Blog

    A Very British Guide to Borrowing.

    By Suzi / July 5, 2021

    Can I borrow your phone? You’ll get it back.  Can I just borrow your husband for a second?  You’ll get him back.  Can I borrow a pen?  You might get it back.  Can I borrow your lighter?  You’ll…

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  • Blog

    A quick drink

    By Suzi / June 15, 2021

    gone wrong – part 2 The second she arrived home, and put her key in the lock she remembered the message.  As she walked through the door empty-handed, the cat looked at her with utter contempt. Call…

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  • Blog

    A quick drink.

    By Suzi / June 13, 2021

    gone wrong Before I begin this story, I first need to tell you something about a charming little place I know called Plumstead. The reason for this will soon become apparent. So briefly, Plumstead is on the…

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Recent Posts

  • An overworked teacher’s guide to paediatric first aid.
  • On the Eighth Day of Christmas
  • Debt
  • “I’m not homophobic but….”
  • If Parents Wrote Pop Songs

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