The Sarcastic Mother

Shouting to be heard, swearing to be clever

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  • Blog

    A quick drink.

    By Suzi / June 13, 2021

    gone wrong Before I begin this story, I first need to tell you something about a charming little place I know called Plumstead. The reason for this will soon become apparent. So briefly, Plumstead is on the…

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  • Blog

    New Year, New You

    By Suzi / April 25, 2021

    The mother first spotted the advert in the South London Press. It was after the section on stabbings and shootings but before the sport.

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  • Blog

    Every mother’s worst nightmare.

    By Suzi / February 7, 2021

    Hi folks, sorry there has been such a long gap since my last post.  This blog post is now well overdue, however when you read this story, you’ll realise its lateness is actually quite fitting.   Well, it’s almost the end of January, and Christmas is well and truly…

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  • Blog

    Parenting Blues by W.H Vardy!

    By Suzi / January 3, 2021

    Stop all the clocks,   Put down your mobile phone Prevent the dog from barking on a juicy bone,  Silence the dishwasher   and with muffled drum  In walks my child,   And the moaning comes   Let aero planes high above us, flee abroad …

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    June 20, 2020
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  • Blog

    I’m Dreaming of a Shite Chritmas

    By Suzi / December 24, 2020

    The Mother must have been about 19 when you had celebrated her what was to be her last at home, Oh but what a memorable Christmas it was. If she could remember rightly she had spent the…

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  • Blog

    Leyton – Part 3

    By Suzi / December 6, 2020

    The children were gripped following the twists and turns of the debate between her and Leyton. Abdul piped up “Yeah, I’ve seen a dinosaur too Miss.”  While Ava shouted out excitingly “Miss, Miss, are you going to…

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  • Blog

    Leyton – part 2

    By Suzi / November 30, 2020

    To be fair, it wasn’t the whole class or even half the class. In fact, in reality, it was just one boy, one boy who went by the name of Leyton Baxter. If there ever was a…

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  • Blog

    Leyton

    By Suzi / November 29, 2020

    When a teaching agency calls with work, they usually tell you the bare minimum about a position.  Just like with the CIA, information is shared on a need-to-know basis, but that’s where the similarity ends. There is no…

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  • Blog

    Alfred – The End

    By Suzi / November 21, 2020

    George and Gladys – I miss you so much. Brighton has just not been the same since you relocated. Shanie (The Border Collie) I hope you are having fun with Kimble in dog heaven xxxx Her grandfather…

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  • Blog

    Alfred Part 2

    By Suzi / November 19, 2020

    “Migrants take all new jobs in Britain reads the Rants headline followed by a story about how impossible it is to get a job in the UK if you are British. As well as this story there…

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