• Blog

    Lady Business! Part 1

    Has your son ever asked you about periods?”  asked the Mother’s friend Larissa one day, completely out of the blue. “Oh, God, yeah, he’s asked me about 100 times, ‘Mum, what are those cotton wool things in…

  • Blog

    Hair – part 3

    The hair salon itself is less ominous than the sinister rooms below, and once upstairs, she begins to relax again. Soon, she is plonked down in a comfy black chair, eagerly waiting for a hair wash. A…

  • Blog

    Hair – part 2

    This subterranean bunker always reminds the Mother of one thing and one thing alone – a backstreet abortionist. She isn’t sure if it’s the smell, the hideous cyclamen pink walls or the sterile metal bed. But all…

  • Blog

    Hair

    It is Saturday morning, and the kids have been packed off to their grandparents for the weekend. The house is silent, peaceful and, best of all, tidy. The Mother is feeling especially jubilant today, not just because…

  • Blog

    The Iron Lady – part 2

    On arrival at the swimming pool, the Mother took her group to the girls’ communal changing area, and quickly chaos ensued. The second the girls were out of sight of the Iron Lady, their volume went through…

  • Blog

    The Iron Lady

    The story continues at the Church of Immaculate Conception Primary School “Esther, you’ll be in Year 5 today,” said the receptionist abruptly as the Mother arrived the next morning. Her name wasn’t actually Ester but she was…

  • Blog

    Mass – part 3

    The next day The Mother wanted to sit down; she wanted to lie down. She wanted to curl up in a warm bed with a cup of tea and a copy of Viz and stay there until…

  • Blog

    Mass

    The call came late one afternoon when the Mother was about to give up hope of ever getting work that week. Would she consider working in a Roman Catholic primary school, her agent had asked. If she…

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    Blog

    The Mother – Spoken Word

    Conversations with a  ̶Se̶r̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶K̶i̶l̶l̶e̶r̶  teenager Pick it up, put it away, hang it up. Do it properly, don’t leave it on the floor, put in on the radiator. Put it in the dishwasher, Make sure you turn it…